Intimacy issues?!

Intimacy is a rare commodity today. Too many times, we exchange intimacy for quick fixes of immediate gratification. We trade love for lust. We view our spouses as mere objects for our own pleasure rather than as partners for life. This isn't true intimacy, it is self-gratification. In the long run, this mindset isn't healthy for us or the other people in our lives. What is it that creates a sense of intimacy in a relationship?
I believe that the ability to disclose oneself is what begins to create a sense of intimacy in a person. You can't possibly hold others at an arm's length if you want to establish intimacy. Secondly, you can't force it. Intimacy can't be bought or rushed. It takes time to develop. It takes common experiences and "insider" moments. Third, you can't just wish for it. Intimacy isn't something that can be "poofed" into existence. It comes from hard work and commitment to a relationship. Fourth, intimacy is an issue of desire. You have to WANT to be intimate with another person, whether that relationship is platonic or otherwise. Relationships, once again, are hard work. Just like exercise, you tend to get out of relationships what you put into it. Of course, there are always exceptions to this. However, be in a long-term relationship, like a marriage and find out how much effort it requires for a healthy and intimate relationship with your spouse.
For me, most of those same principles apply. Take my marriage, for instance. When we were first married, my wife and I longed to spend every bit of our time together in one form of intimacy or another. As the years passed, we found ourselves spending less and less private time together. I really longed to get to know my wife better on a personal level - as more than a wife and lover. I wanted to know her as a woman and fellow human being. This required so much more effort! What I found was that she was less willing to open up sections of her heart due to previous pains and hurts. In turn, I also found that I had placed many walls around my own heart because I too had been burned too many times by others. So, I found that one big component of being intimate was self-exposure - you know what I mean...
I had to be willing to expose parts of my being, my soul to my wife if I wanted to grow closer to her. This was and still is scary. I have been married for thirteen years and it is still hard work and is still frightening at times. Why is that? Anytime you seek to move closer to another person, you have the chance of getting hurt - yes, even and maybe ESPECIALLY by your spouse. My wife gets to see me at my best and worse - and yet, she still loves me- wow!
Finally, intimacy with Christ requires much work as well. For me, it is a labor of love. It requires discipline and much faith. See, you can't physically see the Lord right now. This has required faith for my analytical side to process. However, through prayer, I have sensed his presence in powerful ways. It has been through a desire to want to know him better, to open my heart and being open to him completely - in ways that I can't even do with my wife. I talk to Jesus just like I write and talk with anyone else. I still hold him in the utmost regard, there is a sort of tension. I talk to him as if he is my best friend but I still realize that he is the sustainer of the universe - yet he still longs to love my heart! Sorry for the babbling here...
Intimacy to me is so special. It is what makes life worth living to me. Intimacy is a rare and difficult achievement. I say achievement because of the work and discipline that is involved in it. Yet, at times, it is the most natural and easy thing to do. We all want to be known and pursued, I am no different. I want those that I love to know me as well as they desire to do so. In a like manner, I want to know them as well as they will let me.