Miracles DO exist!
"Immediately the father of the child cried out, "I believe; help my unbelief" (Mark 9:24, NRSV).
In today's society, many of us tend grow extremely skeptical of claims of miraculous intervention. I must admit that I do the same. In my case, I'm not sure if I feel that way due to the sensational nature of some miracle claims or because some certain evangelists claim miracles will happen if you'll only give them money. I'm not so sure that my unbelief is based on something more, something more sinister and more potentially damaging spiritually.
The word solipsism is defined by Witherington as "making the mistake of generalizing from the part to the whole" (Witherington, 2006, p.5). In other words, because I believe that miracles can't happen, miracles don't happen. In my case this would mean that perhaps I have a narrow view of miracles because I don't believe in them. Just like the boogeyman, my denial of its existence negates its possibility. This is a truly dangerous position to take. What, because something hasn't happened to me, it can't happen for anyone else? Lord, forgive me for my unbelief.
Perhaps my position is due to my naturally analytical nature. I tend to emphasize knowledge over belief in my personal view of God and theology. But what does this mean? Am I better at reading and understanding theology than I am at believing it? I've learned much about sanctification, justification, and in detailed systematic theology. The concept of the Trinity, of the immanence of God, of the homoousios of Christ - his fully human and fully divine natures, the tenets of soteriology and understand about the existence of God through Scripture, reason, tradition and experience. However, this still isn't enough.
John 3 deals with the nocturnal visit between Jesus and a Pharisee by the name of Nicodemus. Most of us know the story because it includes John 3:16, "For God so loved the world that he gave his only son, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal life" (NRSV) or some variation of that wording. Yet within this encounter, Jesus outlines the need for being born again. Nicodemus, a very learned man didn't understand Jesus. "Jesus answered him, "Are you a teacher of Israel, and yet you do not understand these things" (John 3:10, NRSV)?
I'm afraid that these words from Jesus hit me square between the eyes. Here I am a teacher, a preacher, a disciple of Christ and yet, I am so daft in many areas. This should not be. Lord, forgive me for my unbelief.
In some circles, my condition is called putting head over heart. I try to analyze and understand everything before I internalize it. While I believe that God gives us a brain and reasoning ability for the purpose of understanding, I must also realize that there things that frankly, can't be explained. How does a man rise up from the dead? I can't totally explain it. How does a man walk on water, and I'm not talking about frozen water, either? How does a biopsy come back negative after a positive was assessed as a foregone conclusion? How does a woman get pregnant after 12 years of "failures"? These things can't be explained. Yet, they have happened and will continue to happen in some cases.
I am not in any way saying we should dismiss reason and intellectual pursuit of the divine. However, we must be willing to admit that we just don't and can't figure God out completely. It's not like we aren't given fair warning, though. "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord" (Isaiah 55:8, NIV). In other words, God is infinite, omniscient, omnipresent and omnipotent. I am not. This reminds me of scene from the movie, Rudy. At a point of crisis, Rudy turns to prayer and to a priest for further guidance. The priest replies in this fashion: "Kid, I've learned two things in all my years as a priest. There is a God and I'm not him."
No matter how hard I try to fashion my God-box, he simply can't be contained there within. To say that he can be is as ludicrous as believing that if I look up at the sun and squint my eyes and then raise my hand towards the sun and pinch my fingers tight together over the sun that I have actually "crushed" the sun. Last I checked, that doesn't work, no matter what I may WANT to believe. The same goes for God. No matter what I may WANT to believe about him or about his work, I simply can't understand it all. I must accept some things on faith and through belief. Lord, forgive me for my unbelief.
Jesus tells the leper that he is cured through his belief. The blind man is given sight because of his belief. In a similar fashion, we are told in Mark 6 that Jesus couldn't perform many miracles in Nazareth because of their lack of belief. Even moreso, we are told that Jesus was amazed at their unbelief. I must say, that is the last thing that I would ever want Jesus to feel about me, yet there are times when I'm not so sure if that wouldn't be the case.
I've been blessed recently to see some things, to be around some people, to see some change in folks that I just didn't think possible. Like Luke Skywalker in The Empire Strikes Back, I reply to my master, "I don't believe it!" I shudder to think that he might say, "That is why you fail", ala Yoda. The point is, I stand at a crossroads of faith. I can either accept the fact that God can and will perform miracles at his discretion and within his perfect will, as he has already shown or I can bury my head in the sand and continue to live a "prove it to me" existence. Lord, forgive me for my unbelief.
I'm choosing to accept that miracles still do happen. They don't have to happen. I don't have to be cured every time I pray for it. I don't have to wake up with all my problems fixed. In fact, I don't have to see another miracle the rest of my days. Yet, still I choose to accept the fact that miracles do exist! How about you?
1 comment:
Dear Jeffrey,
are we really this alone?
Or is it that other believers do not write on the internet?
Or perhaps they don't write in English? (I did try several other languages, though. Nothing.)
Be it as it may, I was searching specifically for somebody who believes in miracles - anywhere in the world. (In real miracles - not "miracles" in the figurative sense, let alone simple biological facts of life.)
I was searching for them - for you - in tears, because I am beginning to feel so desperately alone in my faith.
And now... while I am writing this, I've just come to realise that words have abandoned me.
Anyway, you wrote it best yourself. I don't have to add anything - except... I do need a MAJOR miracle now.
I don't think I ever asked for one in my life, not even a small one. (Or perhaps I did.) But this time I need a miracle so huge that even I wouldn't be able to notice it myself. (I know what I am talking about. ;))
And why not?
I don't believe that anything - anything - is "impossible" with God. Isn't God almighty? ALL-mighty?
I am far from being a child. And I am far from being what my colleagues usually call a "simple soul" (BTW, I don't think there's anything wrong with "simple souls", whatever that means).
Most of my friends are agnostic. (They are what is usually called "intellectuals"; and so am I, BTW.)
But, to my constant amazement and in spite of my overactive analytical mind, I have retained the unshakable faith of a child. (Isn't that what Christ wanted from people?)
Which is why I am not going to discuss my faith in, or need for, miracles with them, my friends.
Even worse, though – in my experience, that is – are people who are supposed »believers« (many of them also intellectuals): church-going people who never miss a mass and supposedly pray all the time... Those same people look at me with disbelief and/or pity when they see that I do actually believe in a almighty God (though not a "Him"); that I do believe in miracles; that I do believe in the raising of Lazarus – and don't see why such things (or even greater ones!) wouldn't and couldn't happen today.
(Isn't »today« the same as »yesterday« in the timelessness of God?)
And then, of course... there is the apparent lack of response on the part of God. Because you don't know me, I feel I should tell you that I do not put time contraints on God's »response« to my begging. (Because, even if we are or appear to be time-bound, there is no »time« in God, is there?)
Still... I was hit BIG TIME a few weeks ago, Jeffrey. But I put my entire childlike – or childish, if you wish – faith in God; and I prayed with tears of gratitude in my eyes. I was sure my prayer had been answered. It didn't appear to be so, not in the immediate aftermath, anyway – not to my worldly eyes (which are, of course, the only eyes I can effectively use in this life, so it would be a good idea for God to make the response visible to them ;)).
But I went on believing.
Then, the great catastrophe was followed by another one, very minor by comparison, but one that effectively rendered me unable to earn my living for the time being.
And then, as I was walking through a park, asking God with all my soul for a miracle – any miracle for the time being, just a tiny »sign«, something beautiful for me or for my loved ones, just to let me know that I am being heard at all! Then, seconds after having expressed this ardent wish, I called my cousin on the phone... And he told me that his father, my uncle, had died. (Unexpectedly, on top of everything.)
Am I connecting these two events? Not really – because I choose not to. But I would certainly understand if somebody did connect them.
I am too numbed by such a blow – the second one - in just a few days to even feel disappointment, let alone anger.
Anyway, I tried to find some fellow miracle-believer to help me make some sense of this mess.
I found none.
Empty words and resignation to the impenetrable »ways of the Lord«, that's all. There were even some discreet hints of my being »ungrateful«.
But see, Jeffrey – »ungrateful« is the one thing I am NOT, never have been.
And I do have – still have - the simple, strong faith that GOD can do or undo anything, regardless of how impossible it may seem to human eyes.
Yes: amazingly, I still believe. Perhaps even more than before – but that's because there is nothing else but that faith left in my life to cling to. Still: it is genuine faith.
Am I childish?
I don't care. Christ said we should be like little children; Christ said that even a tiny »seed« of faith should be enough.
My only hope in life is that his words were the Truth.
I choose to believe they were.
I still believe in miracles.
And I am very grateful for your faith in them.
I don't need it to go on believing myself – but I am grateful for the »company«, even in spirit.
Keep well, my friend.
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